Parents often don't get either recognition or a sense of satisfaction in the 24/7 job they've undertaken.
They stumble through child-rearing, learning from their mistakes and trying to improve every day. But, unlike other obstacles or challenges, this one is constantly moving, morphing, evolving. Like a moving target in an amusement park shooting game, perfecting our child-raising strategies is tough. Most of time, I feel like I'm getting the tiny plastic toy, while aiming for the giant stuffed panda.
But every once in a while, our little ones do or say something that truly impresses. In the real, adult world, nothing much fazes me, but my wee ones have been tossing out some rare nuggets recently that not only catch me off guard, but make me smile and beam.
The holiday season brings out the best in people. Children are no exception.
My eldest went above and beyond this year, particularly when she noticed that her fellow (affluent) classmates weren't rising to the cause, and donating items for the Christmas drive. For almost an entire week, our future philanthropist and world traveller made her way to school armed with bags of gifts, clothes, toys, games, books, DVDs - some of which she purchased herself - to make a family happy this season. Almost single-handedly, she took on this burden to save the world, one person at a time!
Good for her.
My youngest, during one of our outings, reached into her pink purse, pulling out some pennies, nickels and dimes. "Is this a lot of money to give?" she asked. "It's tons," I replied.
Good for her.
My middle child, after buying his mom a Christmas present, also took his change and deposited it into a yuletide donation receptacle.
Good for him.
Like faith and hope, charity is a truly human expression of compassion. It's key to our very existence.
It's true that charity begins at home. Fortunately, it doesn't stay there!
All the best this holiday season to you and yours!
Georgian Bay Sunset
Taken from The Del docks - Photo by Mark Pavilons
Monday, December 19, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Parenting from the sidelines
Soccer has wrapped up for another season in our household with some exciting final weekend action of the Bolton Wanderers Soccer Club.
Both of my kids' final matches were decided in shootouts - nail-biting, stressful shootouts. It's a tough way to end a competition but that's sports.
Groups of complete strangers spent the summer together, learning, growing and coming together as teammates. Parents were united in support.
During the final weekend, the sidelines erupted with cheers from moms, dads, grandmas, grandpas, brothers and sisters. It was fantastic to see this support and the positive reinforcement supplied by most parents.
As we "coached" and cheered from the sidelines, offering pre- and post-game moral support, it dawned on me that this is a parent's role in a succinct nutshell - we are there to offer support, silently or vocally, no matter what, rain or shine, in sickness and in health, in victory and in loss, in joy and in sorrow.
In a typical sports season, you experience all of these things, and more.
The rain stops, the sun comes out, the bruises heal, the laces get tied up again, and spirits soar.
I witnessed some of the best soccer I have ever seen in recent years and I felt closer to my kids. I shared in their triumps and their tribulations, reassuring them that sportsmanship and comaraderie build character and the lessons on the field are just warmups for what's in store in the future.
A game is easy - there are rules and time limits. You hone your skills and make better passes and more accurate kicks. You work together for a common goal.
Life's like that in many ways. Unfortunately, the rules are constantly changing and the clock is always ticking.
I've been down in the dumps lately, but this past weekend rejuvenated even this tired soul. It gave me hope. I was filled with pride. I was happy, every minute of every game they played.
For the kids, their wins and losses will soon be forgotten as they concentrate on school work, meet new friends and prepare for the holidays.
For me, this soccer season was unforgettable.
I'd like to thank everyone at the BWSC for their undying commitment to soccer in our community. And to the coaches of Roma and Spain, thank you for making a difference!
Both of my kids' final matches were decided in shootouts - nail-biting, stressful shootouts. It's a tough way to end a competition but that's sports.
Groups of complete strangers spent the summer together, learning, growing and coming together as teammates. Parents were united in support.
During the final weekend, the sidelines erupted with cheers from moms, dads, grandmas, grandpas, brothers and sisters. It was fantastic to see this support and the positive reinforcement supplied by most parents.
As we "coached" and cheered from the sidelines, offering pre- and post-game moral support, it dawned on me that this is a parent's role in a succinct nutshell - we are there to offer support, silently or vocally, no matter what, rain or shine, in sickness and in health, in victory and in loss, in joy and in sorrow.
In a typical sports season, you experience all of these things, and more.
The rain stops, the sun comes out, the bruises heal, the laces get tied up again, and spirits soar.
I witnessed some of the best soccer I have ever seen in recent years and I felt closer to my kids. I shared in their triumps and their tribulations, reassuring them that sportsmanship and comaraderie build character and the lessons on the field are just warmups for what's in store in the future.
A game is easy - there are rules and time limits. You hone your skills and make better passes and more accurate kicks. You work together for a common goal.
Life's like that in many ways. Unfortunately, the rules are constantly changing and the clock is always ticking.
I've been down in the dumps lately, but this past weekend rejuvenated even this tired soul. It gave me hope. I was filled with pride. I was happy, every minute of every game they played.
For the kids, their wins and losses will soon be forgotten as they concentrate on school work, meet new friends and prepare for the holidays.
For me, this soccer season was unforgettable.
I'd like to thank everyone at the BWSC for their undying commitment to soccer in our community. And to the coaches of Roma and Spain, thank you for making a difference!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Paying attention to child’s play
I’ve been paying closer attention to my kids lately.
My 10-year-old son has a unique gait, sort of a wobble. I can pick him out of a crowd 200 metres away, as school lets out.
I don’t know if it’s his overstuffed backpack or his own personal style. I watched intently one afternoon, looking for his quirks and mannerisms. It made me chuckle.
I see him talk to himself; stage mock battles of some sort, and likely picturing himself as a modern-day superhero of sorts, albeit in a smaller stature.
He is a typical boy. I guess I forgot all about that, pushing my inner child aside as life gets more complicated and taxing. I still maintain a collection of tiny model aircraft – they make me smile and for a few, brief moments each day I’m taken aloft, soaring through the clouds.
These are collectibles, not toys, yet my wife and eldest daughter make fun of me for my one harmless hobby.
My boy has different tastes and today’s playthings are much more varied and plentiful, offering youngsters a cornucopia of imagination-stimulating possibilities.
And that’s what it’s all about – taking a break from reality to simply play. I have committed the following quote to memory to sum this up: the more complicated the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of play. I think it came from a Star Trek episode, but likely has older origins.
When I stroll past my son’s room and hear his “noises,” I smile again. When I enter he waits for a critical word, but lately I’m more apt to flop down beside him and engage in outlandish battles and journeys.
I should have done it more often, instead of telling him to make his bed or tidy up his mess.
My youngest daughter, even at 5, amuses herself in often intense play time, where she bosses around her Barbies and creates wonderful art on her desk and dresser. Of course, when asked about this, she admits nothing! She’s as clever and evasive as she is cute. Let’s face it, dollies aren’t my thing, but I have played, even though I’m taken to task for my improper play style. My dolls jump, yell and fight, what can I say?
My eldest, who recently became a teen, is a bit beyond interacting with dear, old dad. She desperately wants to grow up and experience grown-up things. She watches teen movies, makes crafts and sings loudly (she’s actually quite good) as if to make a statement to the world.
We have kept all of the good, old toys in the basement and I often find her rummaging around, picking out some oldie, but goodie. She can also be found playing with Hot Wheels and for some strange reason, she tends to like the really odd cars of the ‘70s of the ‘80s, like station wagons, Gremlins and Pacers! Don’t tell me these are making a comeback! I understand retro, but come on!
Does play really tell you a lot about someone? Psychologists will say yes and there’s likely mountains of data on play behaviour.
The bottom line is to allow them the simplicity of play. And, it doesn’t hurt to get down on the floor with them and let loose. Getting up is another matter!
Have fun!
My 10-year-old son has a unique gait, sort of a wobble. I can pick him out of a crowd 200 metres away, as school lets out.
I don’t know if it’s his overstuffed backpack or his own personal style. I watched intently one afternoon, looking for his quirks and mannerisms. It made me chuckle.
I see him talk to himself; stage mock battles of some sort, and likely picturing himself as a modern-day superhero of sorts, albeit in a smaller stature.
He is a typical boy. I guess I forgot all about that, pushing my inner child aside as life gets more complicated and taxing. I still maintain a collection of tiny model aircraft – they make me smile and for a few, brief moments each day I’m taken aloft, soaring through the clouds.
These are collectibles, not toys, yet my wife and eldest daughter make fun of me for my one harmless hobby.
My boy has different tastes and today’s playthings are much more varied and plentiful, offering youngsters a cornucopia of imagination-stimulating possibilities.
And that’s what it’s all about – taking a break from reality to simply play. I have committed the following quote to memory to sum this up: the more complicated the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of play. I think it came from a Star Trek episode, but likely has older origins.
When I stroll past my son’s room and hear his “noises,” I smile again. When I enter he waits for a critical word, but lately I’m more apt to flop down beside him and engage in outlandish battles and journeys.
I should have done it more often, instead of telling him to make his bed or tidy up his mess.
My youngest daughter, even at 5, amuses herself in often intense play time, where she bosses around her Barbies and creates wonderful art on her desk and dresser. Of course, when asked about this, she admits nothing! She’s as clever and evasive as she is cute. Let’s face it, dollies aren’t my thing, but I have played, even though I’m taken to task for my improper play style. My dolls jump, yell and fight, what can I say?
My eldest, who recently became a teen, is a bit beyond interacting with dear, old dad. She desperately wants to grow up and experience grown-up things. She watches teen movies, makes crafts and sings loudly (she’s actually quite good) as if to make a statement to the world.
We have kept all of the good, old toys in the basement and I often find her rummaging around, picking out some oldie, but goodie. She can also be found playing with Hot Wheels and for some strange reason, she tends to like the really odd cars of the ‘70s of the ‘80s, like station wagons, Gremlins and Pacers! Don’t tell me these are making a comeback! I understand retro, but come on!
Does play really tell you a lot about someone? Psychologists will say yes and there’s likely mountains of data on play behaviour.
The bottom line is to allow them the simplicity of play. And, it doesn’t hurt to get down on the floor with them and let loose. Getting up is another matter!
Have fun!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Penny wise ankle-biter
"Daddy, why do we have to use our own money to buy things?"
A very good question, from a tiny, pant-leg tugger.
My youngest daughter wondered why things aren't just provided for us - all of us - and why we have to use something as nasty as money to get what we need.
I couldn't very well debate the merits of European socialism or the ideology of Marxism with a five-year-old.
She made me think, this little intuitive offspring of ours. I quite like the system used in Scandinavian countries - true welfare states where citizens are on a level playing field, given the necessities of life, comprehensive health care, government-subsidized housing (not in our sense) and insurance against illness and old age. Sure, residents are heavily taxed to pay for such a system, but really, if it works, what's wrong with it?
I'd be happy to part with half of my income if my family and I were guaranteed a mortgage-free house to live in; inclusive health care; decent old age security and family benefits should we become ill and can't work.
On a purely philosophical level, think about it. What would happen to our society if we removed the evils of money and the drive to accumulate material wealth? None of us would have to outdo our neighbours. We wouldn't buy bigger and bigger SUVs, diamond rings or gold watches. We wouldn't need designer jeans, the latest in athletic footwear or an exhausing litany of logos and labels. We'd all be driving around in Smart Cars wearing green jumpsuits, but we'd be happy, healthy and stress-free.
Sounds like a perfectly fair trade-off to me.
Of course, others would see this as heresy, claiming that society as we know it would crumble and fall. Again, is that a bad thing?
I often joke with others during this current stress-filled time in my life that shedding all modern chains, moving to a tropical locale and living in a treehouse is looking mighty good. We'd get plenty of Vitamin D, eat off the land, get plenty of exercise and be one with nature.
In the Tim Burton film, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Charlie wants to sell his golden ticket for money so the family can buy necessities. But one of his grandparents takes him aside and points out there's plenty of money in the world and they print more of it all the time. Why would Charlie want to trade his unique ticket for something as common as money? Why indeed?
Maybe the joke's on us. We're racing towards an early grave with that carrot on a stick, forever out of reach.
A very good question, from a tiny, pant-leg tugger.
My youngest daughter wondered why things aren't just provided for us - all of us - and why we have to use something as nasty as money to get what we need.
I couldn't very well debate the merits of European socialism or the ideology of Marxism with a five-year-old.
She made me think, this little intuitive offspring of ours. I quite like the system used in Scandinavian countries - true welfare states where citizens are on a level playing field, given the necessities of life, comprehensive health care, government-subsidized housing (not in our sense) and insurance against illness and old age. Sure, residents are heavily taxed to pay for such a system, but really, if it works, what's wrong with it?
I'd be happy to part with half of my income if my family and I were guaranteed a mortgage-free house to live in; inclusive health care; decent old age security and family benefits should we become ill and can't work.
On a purely philosophical level, think about it. What would happen to our society if we removed the evils of money and the drive to accumulate material wealth? None of us would have to outdo our neighbours. We wouldn't buy bigger and bigger SUVs, diamond rings or gold watches. We wouldn't need designer jeans, the latest in athletic footwear or an exhausing litany of logos and labels. We'd all be driving around in Smart Cars wearing green jumpsuits, but we'd be happy, healthy and stress-free.
Sounds like a perfectly fair trade-off to me.
Of course, others would see this as heresy, claiming that society as we know it would crumble and fall. Again, is that a bad thing?
I often joke with others during this current stress-filled time in my life that shedding all modern chains, moving to a tropical locale and living in a treehouse is looking mighty good. We'd get plenty of Vitamin D, eat off the land, get plenty of exercise and be one with nature.
In the Tim Burton film, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Charlie wants to sell his golden ticket for money so the family can buy necessities. But one of his grandparents takes him aside and points out there's plenty of money in the world and they print more of it all the time. Why would Charlie want to trade his unique ticket for something as common as money? Why indeed?
Maybe the joke's on us. We're racing towards an early grave with that carrot on a stick, forever out of reach.
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